Lyrics
🎙️ [Intro – Spoken]
Welcome to the land of vending machines with more variety than your ex’s mood swings,
Where toilets smarter than your boss still can’t fix the WiFi ping…
Konnichiwa, lets sing this song

🎵 [Verse 1 – English Only]
Anime kings but still no chill,
Download speed? That’s a samurai kill.
Toilet sings, fridge talks back,
But your network dies when I send a snack!

Bullet trains zoom with no delay,
But AirDrop still says “not today.”
VR waifu, tech parade,
But traffic jams like a retro arcade

Capsule hotels, sleep like a drawer,
But your apps take hours to restore
Noodles slap, your tech’s elite,
But your WiFi dies on Tokyo street

🎶 [Chorus – English + Japanese + Okinawan Mix]
Kawaii phone, signal gone,
Nani kore? net so wrong.
Arigato, but where’s my ping?
Uchinā WiFi doin’ its thing

Ramen hot, Insta flop,
Shinkansen fast, TikTok stop.
Hai! Hai! Netto dame,
Why this glitch in a samurai game?

🎵 [Verse 2 – English Only]
Ninjas silent, robots loud,
Still can’t stream without a crowd
Bento cute, charger dead,
Even sushi rolls its head

You flex tech in every zone,
But still can’t send one Google Chrome
Cosplay fire, zero bars,
WiFi died in robot cars

Origami folds so precise,
But network stacks like frozen rice
From Mt. Fuji to vending drinks,
Your bandwidth stinks, let that sink

🎶 [Chorus – Repeat]
Kawaii phone, signal gone,
Nani kore? net so wrong.
Arigato, but where’s my ping?
Uchinā WiFi doin’ its thing

Ramen hot, Insta flop,
Shinkansen fast, TikTok stop.
Hai! Hai! Netto dame,
Why this glitch in a samurai game?

🗣️ [Outro – Spoken]
We love the anime, the tech, the tradition…
But bro, your net speed moves like ancient Edo.
Tell your robot to fix the router, not just serve tea

#JapanRoast, #RoastAnthem, #FunnySong, #MemeRap, #ViralMusic, #ToiletTechGoneWrong, #SamuraiSignal, #RamenBeats, #WifiFail, #BulletTrainBars, #AnimeRoast, #TokyoTroll, #KawaiiWifi, #RobotRap, #MemeSoundtrack, #CatchyLyrics, #TrapWithTwist, #GlobalRoast, #ComedyRap, #JapanJokes, #RoastingCountries, #GuessTheCountry, #RoastCulture, #WiFiWarrior, #SushiSlap, #EmojiBPM, #TokyoTrapTrack, #BufferBeats, #CringeBarz, #NextCountryPlease